


Alarmed Cooing

by starlordiscute



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, a bit of angst at the start, but not too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 01:46:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2369885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlordiscute/pseuds/starlordiscute
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>takes place post CA:TWS, so there are spoilers, sorry. </p>
<p>basically steve finds bucky again, and they're gay even if they dont wanna admit it. you'll see. it's very cute.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alarmed Cooing

**Author's Note:**

> the original prompt given to me was: imagine Steve and Bucky just sitting and staring at each other for like 10 min when Steve finally finds him, right? and like, neither of them knows what to say, and Bucky is all a mess and Steve is, too, because he hasn't stopped searching for him all this time... 
> 
> Note: the fic totally strayed from this idea. Sorry.
> 
> Note #2: all Russian will be translated in a footnote. Sorry, I actually speak Russian, so I decided to show off :P
> 
> Note #3: ugh sorry the spacing is weird >.

He was standing–covered in dried up mud and blood, assassin costume ripped in multiple places, metallic arm no longer shiny but now rusty and covered in their surroundings–near the stream when Steve finally found him. It wasn't that he looked bad, necessarily, just... sad. Like a puppy who had been abandoned on the street, left to die with no idea how to survive and nobody to guide him through it. He looked like he hadn't had a proper meal in... how long had Steve been searching for him? Weeks? Months? It had to be close to a year by now. 

Steve managed to stutter a short, quiet, nervous "hi" before realising that he probably didn't look too hot himself - he had been too worried to eat, he had let his hair grow out and his beard was untamed and almost as wild as their surroundings. He was still in that leather jacket, but it was ripped in... well, in every place, with dried blood all over it and mud caking in different layers of different colours - a reddish hue on the bottom, a bit darker on top, and almost fresh poop brown from when he fell earlier that day. He absent-mindedly brushed a hand through his sandy - and, wow, dirty - hair before realising that Bucky was doing the same with his dark brown and strangely majestic mane.

 

Steve cleared his throat, all too aware of the silence the super soldiers caused from looking one another over. After another vocal cleansing - one which made Steve remember the days when he had asthma - he managed to speak up a little. 

"Hey Bucky."

"Who the hell is Bucky?" was the only reply. It was said with such a straight, angsty face that Steve's face sunk and he stared at his dirty shoes, silently cursing the gods, cursing everyone who operated on Bucky for making him forget his own best friend, cursing himself for letting Bucky go in the first place…

His thoughts, however, were interrupted by a sound both familiar and new, and one he hadn't heard in ages - the sound of James Buchanan Barnes' laughter. 

"Hey, Steve, I'm kidding, don't worry. I know who I am, and I remember you. How could I forget my best friend?"

Steve looked up, eyes full of tears. He stared at Bucky for a good minute before finally erupting into his own, broken laughter. 

They both laughed until they couldn’t laugh anymore, then cried until all the tears they had saved up were gone. And, finally, for Steve could not hold back his desire for much longer, he ran towards his favourite one-armed man and wrapped him in a huge hug. Steve didn't let go until Bucky cleared his throat–a signal usually meaning that the recipient of the hug could not breathe, and one Steve had gotten used to after the serum. 

“Hah,” said Steve, awkwardly, as he unwrapped his arms. 

They stared at each other for a bit longer. Neither of them knew what to say, how to make anything better. Steve cleared his throat. Again. “So, uh, you must be hungry… I can bring you home, I’ve been living at Stark Tower since you destroyed my home–”

“Sorry about that,” interrupted Bucky. “I don’t really remember it, but I’m trying… And I  am  sorry, you know it wasn't my choice to hurt you or your friends… I didn’t know it was you–”

“–Bucky. Bucky, shhh. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re okay, and you’re alive, and you remember  something . So, how about that food? I don’t know what you’ve tried, but twenty-first century food is actually sort of delicious.”

“I… I guess…Would your friends be okay with me coming along?”

“Of course! They know how important you are to me, Bucky. And they know that if they say no, I’m going to hurt them.” Steve paused, then muttered to himself something that resembled  Natasha .

“Who? Is she the one with the red hair?”

“Huh? Oh, you heard that. Yeah, that's her. I’ll introduce you to everybody once we get there, okay? But now I’m going to call Tony to get us the hell out of here…”

 

~later~

 

“Alright. So, that’s Tony. Tony Stark, if you remember his father, Howard and his  insane  flying car. Which, oh man. Lola…”

Bucky cleared his throat to remind Steve to stay on track.

“Right. Sorry. Okay. So, that’s Tony, he has his suits, and he’s a genius and a playboy and a philanthropist, and he’s better known as Iron Man. You should let him take a look at your arm, I’m sure he could do some cool things with it. This is Natasha, I believe that you’ve met her. She’s a super spy, and as much as she likes you to be scared of her, I don’t believe there’s a single thing to actually be afraid of. Once you get to know her, she’s super great and nice. Although she  really  needs to stop trying to set me up with people…” He cleared his throat and pointed at Bucky to signal that there would be no further need for that. 

“Anyway, she’s better known as the Black Widow. The man following her around is Clint Barton, also known as Hawkeye. He’s great at archery, and he’s hilarious. When not possessed by Loki, but we’ll get there soon…” 

Steve looked over at Bucky to make sure he was getting all of this, and Bucky had a notebook open, with the top of the page titled “things to remember.” Bucky was mumbling the names to himself, while writing down every word Steve said. Metal arms can write quickly, Steve supposed. 

“Moving on. This is Dr. Banner, or the Hulk. He grows into a giant green rage monster when he gets mad. He likes smashing things. And Dr. Banner, well, he’s also a genius. He and Tony are the science bros, and we just let them do science all day–it’s their natural habitat.”

“That leaves us with Thor, who isn’t here right now, and his adopted brother Loki. Thor is the Norse god of thunder. He has a hammer, which he loves to use. And he’s a very nice man, who much enjoys coffee. His brother, Loki, is the Norse god of mischief. And he’s tried to destroy Earth a few times, so we don’t like him very much. That’s all of the Avengers, and we live in Stark Tower.” 

“Sometimes, however, Agent Coulson visits. He’s died a few times, but S.H.I.E.L.D. needed him, so they resurrected him. And his car is that very flying car that we saw at the fair. Her name’s Lola, don’t touch her. And Director Fury, well... he has an eye patch, and you almost killed him, so he might not be too happy to see you again. Just… make sure to apologise. He’s not as mean as he seems, I promise.”

Bucky looked absolutely terrified. “How am I going to remember all of these names? I can barely remember my own on some days…”

“Bucky, don’t worry. I've been preparing for your return, and I've had a lot of time, so Natasha's been helping me out with some Russian – which she's fluent in and I'm... well... trying to learn.”

“Cерёзна? Tы знаещ русский теперь?” 1

“Да, я виучила для вас...” 2 Steve spoke in slow, somewhat broken Russian, but still understandable enough. “So anyway, what would you like to eat?”

Bucky was still chuckling to himself about Steve’s mistakes in Russian, so it took him a little while to answer. “I’ve heard that… what was it called… Shawarma? Is good?”

Steve laughed, a beautiful sound that made Bucky slightly terrified. “You know how to ride a motorcycle, right? I’ve refused to get a car.”

Bucky looked at Steve, looked at the motorcycle he was pointing to, looked back at Steve, looked back at the motorcycle…

“Okay, so you don’t. Just hold on to me, okay?”

They got onto the motorcycle, Steve in front, Bucky hanging on to him with one metal and one real arm, and they drove off to New York City to go to that one shawarma place. After all, the Avengers had become regulars there after the Battle of New York, they made a point to go at least monthly and usually ended up going weekly. 

~later~

 

“Wow. This shawarma is killer-diller 3 .” Bucky said appreciatively around a mouthful of sandwich.

“Bucky… People don’t say that anymore. Actually, people don’t say a lot of things anymore. And you’ll need to catch up on important movies, TV shows, books, albums… We have a lot of work to do.”

“... How about, ‘Hey sugar, are you rationed?’ 4 ‘What’s buzzin, cousin?’ 5 ‘Brainchild?’”

“No. No. And actually, yes. I believe people still use that one, I think we can thank the hippies for that…”

“Hippies? What are hippies?”

Steve laid a supportive hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Bucky, my friend, you’re going to need a list of things to catch up on.”

Bucky looked down and started mumbling something to himself. He looked absolutely defeated as he took another bite of his shawarma.

“Bucky, don’t worry. I’ll help you out. Have you seen Times Square yet?”

“No. Has it changed?”

“Yeah. Yeah, just a bit. Ready for another spin on the motorcycle?” 

Bucky looked not just terrified, but almost traumatized. 

“I'll take that as a no... That's alright, we can walk.”

 

~later~

 

“So, that's the Disney store, that's the M&M store, that's the McDonald’s, that's the random guy who likes pretending he's a statue, and those are the bright, obnoxious, slightly mesmerizing advertisements.” Steve paused for a moment to check on his friend. Bucky looked lost and confused - and a lot like Steve first did when he found out that he was in the future. Steve gently nudged Bucky's real shoulder, “Hey, Buck, you okay?”

“I, uh.” Bucky cleared his throat and shut his eyes and Steve tried not to notice that his friend was about to cry. “I, uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine, Steve, really. It's just... It's a lot to take in.” Bucky sounded a bit more confident, but not by much. His eyes were still a little watery, and getting red. And his shoulders were starting to shake, just a little bit, unnoticeable to anybody not inspecting him closely – anyone but Steve, who moved closer to his best friend and gave him another hug. 

“Hey, Bucky, Buck, it's okay. You know what we're going to do? We're gonna go somewhere that hasn't changed too much. I think you need that right now. Right?”

Bucky looked at Steve, eyes still red, shoulders sagging a little bit. “I'm sorry to disappoint you, Steve, I know you wanted this to be fun...”

“Hey, Bucky, don't worry. Any time spent with you is time spent having fun. I don't mind, I don't actually like Times Square that much anyway. It's sort of lame and over-rated and, well, touristy. Too many people. How about we go to Central Park? How does that sound?”

Bucky's shoulders continued shaking a little bit and his eyes were still red and watery but he looked up with a smile. “Sure, Central Park sounds good.”

 

~later~

 

“Come on, Bucky, I don't think  feeding pigeons  has changed. You take a piece of bread. You chuck it in their general direction. You watch them eat it.” 

“Okay, fine. But what if I chuck it too hard and hurt them? What if they're afraid of me? I'm afraid of me...” Bucky subconsciously felt his metallic arm as he said this. Steve laid a reassuring hand on the shoulder connecting it to the rest of Bucky, and looked him straight in the eyes. 

“Buck, you couldn't hurt a fly. Nobody is afraid of you. Please, I'm like the  opposite of afraid of you.” He laughed a little at the end, ripped a piece of bread off the loaf, and chucked it towards the pigeons. He hit one square on the head and it flew away, cooing alarmingly. The two super soldiers looked at each other and burst out laughing. The laugh took over their whole bodies until they could no longer breathe, only laugh. There were tears in each of their eyes.

“I see your point now. Maybe we should just get ice cream.” Steve managed to get through between laughs. Bucky just nodded, still unable to stop laughing with tears now streaming down his face. They walked over to the ice cream stand, took a few minutes to compose themselves, and Steve ordered them two cones. 

“You still like chocolate ice cream, right?” he asked as he handed the cone, already sort of melting, to Bucky. Bucky took it and gobbled it down in what, at least he thought, was record time. He looked over at Steve with chocolate ice cream  covering his face, and all Steve could do was start laughing again. 

“What? What's so funny??” pouted Bucky. “Is it my face?” He paused for a reaction, and Steve nodded vigorously. Steve then handed Bucky a few napkins, which Bucky quickly stuck to his face. He peered through the ones already falling down, which caused Steve to have yet another fit of laughter, and then he really cleaned his face.

“You missed a spot, idiot. Here, let me get it...” Steve paused to ever so carefully wipe the excess ice cream off the former assassin's face. “Crap, look at my ice cream...” He gestured to the melted mess that he was  sort of holding in his hand – considering most of it was already on the ground. That made Bucky giggle, and soon enough they were both laughing too much to stand, so they sat down on a bench and proceeded to crack up. Finally, after their last giggles had escaped and Steve was wondering if it was possible to get drunk on laughter, they stood up, threw away all the chocolatey napkins on Bucky's lap, and headed down to the subway.

“Alright, I left my motorcycle in a pretty safe place so we can take the train back to Stark Tower. How does that sound?” 

“Sounds good. I trust you have money, because I don't know if Russian currency from the USSR will be very effective...”

“Bucky, who's been paying for things this whole time? Besides, what kind of person asks somebody on a dat-” Steve stopped himself and tried to cover up his emotions by coughing violently. “As I was saying. What kind of person asks somebody to hang out and then doesn't pay?” 

Bucky stared at the super soldier for a minute or two as they got their tickets and passed through to the platform. He crashed a couple of times, but he continued to stare at Steve instead of looking forward. 

“You were going to say date.” It wasn't a question, more of a fact.

“I-I... It was my mistake, I'm sorry Bucky... I understand why you wouldn't want it to be, you just woke up and you're attractive as ever – I'm sure you want to continue being a ladies man...” Steve added a dry laugh to the end of his statement. “Well come on, let's get back...” He stepped on the train with his head down, and sat down at the end of the train refusing to meet Bucky's eyes. He stayed like that for a few stops, not wanting to admit his attraction to his best friend, not wanting to make Bucky uncomfortable. In fact, he probably would have stayed this way until they got back to Stark Tower, if not for the train route. Instead of staying underground, like it usually does, the train had to go on an overpass – over a small river on a pretty curvy track. It was at this point that Steve heard his friend start to breathe heavily and noticed that Bucky was having a hard time standing. 

“Bucky? Bucky?!” Steve stood up and rushed to his friend's side. “Bucky, Bucky, it's going to be okay. Just focus on breathing, okay? Here, fiddle with this-” Steve rummaged through his pocket and revealed a stress ball “it always helps me.” 

Steve turned to address the other passengers on the train. “Guys, can I have some space please? My friend might be having a panic attack. Actually, I'm 90% sure he's having a panic attack.” 

He turned back to Bucky and guided him to an open seat. “Okay, now that you don't have to stand, breathe, Bucky, breathe. It's okay, you're going to be okay.” Steve wrapped his giant arms around his friend. “Hey, hey, shh. It's okay. Let it out, Buck. You're going to be okay. After all, I'm with you 'till the end of the line. And this? This isn't even the end of the line. This is the start of the line. Shh, shh. Все будет хорошо. 6 ” 

Steve got into a rhythm, telling Bucky that there was no need to worry in every language that he knew, and he didn't let go of his friend. A few minutes passed this way until Bucky calmed down. He looked up, the trails that the tears had left still visible on his face.

“See? I told you you'd be okay, Buck.” Steve smiled at his friend. He then realised that his hands were still probably uncomfortably wrapped around his friend's body. He started to mutter an apology and unwrap them, but his friend didn't let him finish and instead elected to press their lips together passionately, running one of his hands through Steve's hair. 

“Wh-wh-what?” Steve pulled away in confusion. “I didn't think you liked me that way, Bucky. Do you, or do you just feel bad for me? Please don't do this out of pity... I just want you to be happy Buck, really. I just always thought that you-” Steve's nervous ramblings were interrupted with another kiss, passionate, slow, and just as amazing as Steve could have hoped it to be. 

“This... uh.” Steve cleared his throat. “This is our stop.” 

The two super soldiers got out of the train and made their way outside. 

“Steve, I’m  glad  you called it a date. All those women were just a distraction from the person I really wanted – you.  So, please let me continue going on dates with you. And, by the way, why the hell did you stop kissing me, punk?” Bucky chuckled as he pushed Steve up against a building and continued to make out. 

Neither of them noticed what building it was until they heard fireworks erupting and looked up to see some quite patriotic explosions. Steve went bright red, and they heard Tony shout, “Get a room, guys!” 

They burst into laughter, made their way into Stark Tower, plopped onto the couch, and continued to thoroughly enjoy each other. 

 

~ the end ~

**Author's Note:**

> footnotes:  
> 1\. Really? You know Russian now?  
> 2\. Yeah, I learned (female version) it for you (formal)  
> 3\. This is 1940s slang. It means "good stuff." I never thought I would be researching 1940s slang, yet here I am.  
> 4\. Slang for "yo girl you in a relationship or what"  
> 5\. Slang for "what's up"  
> 6\. Everything's going to be okay.
> 
> hi! thank you so much for reading that mess!  
> please feel free to comment and whatever else, and find me at scarystarlord.tumblr.com with any questions :3


End file.
